Thursday, 20 December 2018
GoFundMe
I'm kinda losing faith in the self-publishing route, as either way, I'm met with fees that vary and don't makes sense. From per book, to a set fee between £3500-£5000. This only covers paying for the printed books, and I still find myself lost.
Anyway as highlighted on Twitter, someone set up a GoFundMe to pay for 'the wall' and I chose to ride along the hashtag in hopes of finding some generous donors. Alas...
Monday, 17 December 2018
Publishing Project Reboot and GoFundMe!!
I've been doing my research and well I explain it all here on my GoFundMe.
https://www.gofundme.com/publishing-project-reboot-terra-firma
So, just to wet the appetite for all those who have taken the time to share and donate, here is the prologue and first chapter of Project Reboot:Terra Firma.
Please enjoy and let me know what you think!!
Tuesday, 11 December 2018
The end is near.
I have had a tumultuous week and my depression and anxiety have ran me ragged, but I'm doing it everybody, I'm actually freaking doing it!
I was stuck awake for 48 hours because I just couldn't sleep, so every waking hour I could write, I did.
I've been consistently writing every day for the past week now and the story has finally reached the point where is no where to go but the end of the installment.
The cut off point of book one of Project Reboot is, currently at the words per day written, one and a half days away from ending.
The build up to the end of Terra Firma is enveloping me with so many emotions, the most prominent being motivation. Complete motivation to finish what I started writing four years ago!
I did a recalculation of the time I first conceived the idea, I was sure that 2009 was less than 8 years ago for some reason... But then my partner promptly reminded me it was almost 10.
...
Ten years ago I coined the title to an idea of a story I had been thinking about. Project Reboot: Terra Firma sounded like something that would be interesting to write, something that I should write. And it took me till the spring of 2014 to start it.
I kept thinking about it, the story, the plot, the absurdity, the fact that I hadn't seen anything like it before and that it came from my own mind.
The influence of world politics and society and my trauma spurred me on to write something that means something... to me.
It really doesn't have to mean anything to anyone else. I just hope for someone to read it and wonder; Why on earth did they write this?
And that question itself is valid.
I hope to raise questions, I want people to seek answers, and above all I hope someone will learn something about themselves and take a positive action from it.
I know I had a mental breakdown and protested I would never finish, but depression is an incredibly stupid curse.
I can already see the finish line on the horizon, the sun is glaring across the azure sky, I'm winning this one person race, to reach the end.
I'm excited, and my only wish is for at least a few people to see why that might have been.
Sunday, 9 December 2018
Final Cover
Saturday, 8 December 2018
Book Cover v2!
When I first made the cover, it was spring 2014, I had just started to write Terra Firma.
I put my author name as my married name at the time and that has been plaguing me for a while, so for an extra boost of motivation, here is my old cover with my new cover for comparison!
Friday, 7 December 2018
I'm getting on with it!
Wednesday, 5 December 2018
Being Defeatist.
Depression won yesterday, but I'll fight back and try again.
It's 11pm, been trying to get my son to sleep for the past 5 hours, he's wide awake and pressing the ESC button as I type.
But I'm gonna just gently steer him away as much as possible.
It's hot, the heating is on, I'm incredibly flustered, and here I am typing in this blog.
And shortly after I'll now try and attempt to write... I guess...
Tuesday, 4 December 2018
Deadline.
I have to finish this before Christmas.
Children have a way of making things harder to stick to schedule, especially when you have a 19 month old son.
I haven't been able to write in almost a week.
But I'm dead set on the 15th of December.
It's been almost 9 years, If I put off writing it any longer I will never finish.
I've started to feel the boredom trying to keep up all the continuity and making everything relevant to the story. I have lost the energy I had when I initially restarted.
It will just be first draft, that's all I care about done, but I'm losing time and concentration.
I don't know if I'll make it.
I have poured so much thought into this story but I am losing steam because of my circumstances.
I want to rise like a phoenix from the ashes, but that new flame isn't catching as quick as I would like.
If I don't finish by the 15-12-2018... I quit.
It was a nice thought...
Thursday, 29 November 2018
A decent portrayal.
The deadline is before December 20th 2018. If I keep this up it looks realistic without feeling forced. I'm really enjoying the process.
I've realised that there are people I owe credit for input and support and I will have a dedicated page also in memory of family I have lost who inspired me to do better.
I asked a Muslim friend of mine to give me their insight on how they would like to be represented. And I hope I have upheld their wish for kindness, love, understanding, acceptance and faith.
They are a young person that I was mutual with on Twitter.
They were struggling as a queer teenager living in Egypt and last I had heard, they came out to their sister.
They were struggling with identity and honouring their parents, and saw injustice through their lens as a member of the LGBTQ+ Community and also as a practicing Muslim. Having strong faith and realising they can both be queer and Muslim.
They were not 'out' to the world though, and I gave advice where I could to wait till they were older and safe.
I fear I know not of their safety, but I dedicate my portrayal of their image of a Muslim family to them without prejudice, but faithful.
I will note here that I do not portray any family member as part of the LGBTQ+ family as I don't want to cross lines I fear I daren't cross and also because I was asked not to, but they have helped those in need without discrimination. <3
Real representation of modern people of faith matter. x
Thursday, 22 November 2018
More Progress!
Catching a break... to work!
I haven't been this motivated in years, I'm even doing side projects with my partner!
He's currently at Uni doing game design, he's part of a Uni dev team and is also an independent developer himself. He's currently working on his first games for release next year. I'm helping with concept, artistic direction and proposals.
I'm busier than I have ever been, and it's feeling really good.
If you're interested in following an up and coming Indie game dev, who is working on high quality low-poly games, please consider following @_Lunatinc on twitter and the blog at http://mayhemarenadev.blogspot.com/
We are collaborating in both writing and design. Joris has written and will write fables as short breaks from the main plot.
The fables follow the events of things before the 'Event' and tell a moral story. Each fable tells a short story about different people at the time things all 'go'.
It adds much needed comedy to an intense narrative and I'm proud to be sharing this endeavour with my partner!
The first fable concerns a man on the toilet. You can only imagine, if you take from my prologue in my intro blog, what that might entail!
Looking forward to writing every day. Really motivated.
Positive vibes!!!
Wednesday, 21 November 2018
Doodle~
Yet again... I'm gonna get at it, just waiting for my little one to nod off and then I'll whack out my laptop.
What I was able to do, was doodle.
I've done a doodle prior, but this is an imagining of Ava in post Event clothing...
That'll make sense if you read my book. 😁
Oh dear.
Well, nothing happened yesterday, I'm suffering from fatigue. I'm really tired. But this doesn't mean this still can't be done.
Like one of those moments where the protagonist has been beaten to near submission and finally they find some strength from an unknown, mystical force, rising up using the new found energy to come back at the last second and thwart the enemy full force...
I'm gonna do that.
Tuesday, 20 November 2018
Ugh.
Currently suffering the monthly crimson curse. I'm one of those that get it really bad. I wanted to write today like I did yesterday, but it just wasn't possible.
Hoping to do so when kids go to bed.
I'm not giving up.
But I'm tired.
Ugh.
Monday, 19 November 2018
Progress!
I'll be writing regardless of laptop smashing!
I'm so glad I've managed to write so much in such a short space of time, and I'm really happy with how I have written the chapter so far. So much happens in this chapter, but it's not even the most exciting as more is still to come, although it'll be matter of opinion to the reader!
I touch on the ethics and morals of people surrounding wild animals. Also there is an uncomfortable character that is going to divide opinion! I wonder what people will think.
I'm really excited for anyone to read my book, regardless.
I'm really beginning to get pumped to continue and finish the first installment of Project Reboot!!
*Squees in excitement*
Frustrations of a Writing Mum.
My 18mth old son Theodore has suddenly found bonus energy for the night and I can't pull out my laptop without him wanting to smash at the red glowing keys.
I have had some minor hitches with my mental health as well, regarding someone of my past, whose left their responsibilities at my doorstep. Unfortunately it's not just My ex-husband, but someone I helped and took in and allowed them to use my address as proxy.
I have given too much of my time and patience to those who don't deserve it, and they've decided that they need to get more information from me before they call suppliers they're in debt with. This has led to unwanted attention at my address, and I can't deal with it. I just wish they'd grow up and call round without me telling them. They've said they're waiting for me to give a list... it's just the DVLA and I've told them that, but for my own mental well-being I'm not going respond unless we get another letter.
Life is way too complex, and sometimes it could be so simple.
I still haven't sorted things out, feels like yesterday I went to therapy and I'm back again tomorrow.
I'm not managing things well, but I have Project Reboot as one of my top priorities.
After writing this, I will resume, for as long as my baby sleeps!!
I'm still keeping my deadline... mid-December...
It's been 8 years, I have to do this.
And regarding the person who has caused minor inconveniences to my life, well, they're a character in my book...
Who they are, and what they do and what happens, is powerfully connected to this person, and the outcome of things may be surprising, nonetheless.
What better way to write but with vengeance!
Sunday, 11 November 2018
Key elements.
Since taking up the metaphorical pen, I've learned things about different groups of people, and found representation to be vital. From the start I wanted this story to be inviting and inclusive but I didn't really know how to when I started. Following many groups on social media as part of my research, from PoC to people of the LGBTQ+ community to people of varying faiths, the thing they all have in common is representation and the importance of making it a key factor and not seem like an after thought, or for that matter, excluded.
I failed to be naturally inclusive with the first few chapters, and I don't plan on changing them, because it's vital that my personal growth is reflected in the story. I find that if I'm able to listen and learn, although I'm not obligated to, I find it important that we should as the human race seek to respect and understand others in our communities and across the globe. To be ignorant is to be uneducated. And that is my priority. Don't hate, educate.
As well as being inclusive, this is to say that every one is fair game to be bad or good. This is how I seek to provoke a discussion. Be it someone with mental health issues, or someone of the Christian faith, it could be anyone or any particular group that become a barrier for some reason, depending on the situation. Such as it reflects our own societies. Without transparency, and controversy, we find ourselves without reason to react. Any and all reactions from my story are positive. To be able to move someone and change a person's mind for the better is something I hope to achieve.
The underlying issues I hope to highlight in this story firstly are:
*Mental Health
*Sexuality
*Religion
Project Reboot is to be a series of books that will dive deeper into more social aspects including:
*Race
*Gender
*Disability
I genuinely seek to help raise questions and to dispel myths to my best ability.
The otherwise aspects to my story revolve around:
*Trust
*Faith
*Morals
*Ethics
*Survival
*Betrayal
*Acceptance
*Grief
Please tell me your thoughts if you'd like~
Introduction - Me and my story.
I first conceived the idea for my story 8 years ago, as I festered, in an abusive relationship, cut off from society.
4 years ago is when I finally decided to put the idea into words. Using it as an escape from my situation.
In that time, I've rarely come back to my computer to open the word document, because mental health is a bitch like that and things happened, and I just didn't have anything in me to create. For the longest time my mind has been stuck in a very dark place, and I'm only really just seeing a speck of light at the end of the proverbial tunnel.
When I started writing, I had a very particular, jaded view about society and the world we live in. I spent most my time hunched over my desk reading the news and despairing. In my previous apartment, I had looked out the window and watched as people walked up and down the high street as I lived above a cafe. I was only ever, at that time in a position to observe. My own ideals and had become warped. To an extent, not much has changed, but I have opened up my mind, and used my powers of observation to learn from people on social media.
Learning about the reasoning behind the perspectives of others without judging is incredibly hard. Especially when we're all so very different with individual thoughts and opinions that vary across the spectrum, although I will say, I have no time for hate. No time to understand bigots, for there is simply nothing to understand. Hate is bred from hate. Also from blind ignorance.
Anyway~ as we were.
Project Reboot: TERRA FIRMA
Is a story written from my perspective on how the world would cope without nothing, the story following the struggles of a 19 year old girl who had rejected society and her family. From living alone to relying on strangers to survive.
I give you the Prologue.
I hope this blog helps to further motivate myself and maybe, to whom ever is reading this, I hope this has peaked your interest and you follow my journey from completion to publish.
This is to be the first in a series of books!
Wish me luck.
If you are interested, follow me @Shimoaoi on Twitter -